Anyone who has kids and a small business deserves a medal. It’s not easy. Running a business takes a lot of focus and energy, so how do you juggle all this and still look after your family, especially if both parents are working in the business?
I have five kids but I’m no expert on parenting. So I went looking for answers and found seven proven ideas to help all of us balance work and home:
1. Pick and choose
To improve your business, taking stock is the first step. Same here. If you’re feeling guilt, pinpoint the root cause. Did you miss a birthday? Left them hanging while you took a work call? Worked on Sunday instead of going to the beach together like you promised?
Get clarity around what you’re okay (and not okay) with missing out on. Figure out what’s important and let yourself off the hook for other stuff. What’s non-negotiable for you? Being there for Christmas Eve,# the annual fishing trip, school performances, their Saturday games, weekly movie nights, or maybe it’s just being home in time for dinner every night?
Protect that time by having a ‘no’ speech ready anytime something or someone tries to encroach on this time. Make sure to let go of other people's expectations. Weigh your own actions. Most people have no idea the amount of work and sacrifice it takes to run your own business.
2. Set the tone
What we expect is what we will see. Don’t buy into ‘terrible twos’ or ‘disrespectful teens’. Focus instead on the best each season of parenting brings.
Likewise, focus on what is good about being in business. How you talk about your business = how your kids will feel about it.
A good business makes you more money than a regular job would. It gives your kids better opportunities and a head-start in life. Heck, you’ve created flexibility to help out with the kids more and spend more time with them. You’re providing for your family. That’s badass. Own it.
Talk this through with your kids, help them see the reasons you work so hard.
3. Accept that it’s messy
You can’t do it all. Don’t try. Get help with the kids, the house, the business.
We’re not supposed to parent alone. Encourage healthy influences in your kids’ lives that are not you. Find childcare options your kids love and don’t feel guilty. Hire an online tutor, cleaner, lawn-mowing service, meal delivery, anything that makes it easier!
Work-wise, outsource and delegate as many of the low cost tasks as you can. To be a successful leader, spend your time on high-level tasks. Save time by systemising and streamlining as much as you can. Now is a great time to lean on technology.
4. Optimise the in-between
Research shows the in-between moments of regular family life (activities like chores or taking the car for a warrant) can do as much for family bonding as any planned ‘family fun’.
Studies have associated the following with improved outcomes:
- Talking to and listening to your kids
- Making it clear you have ambitions for their future
- Being emotionally warm
- Teaching them letters and numbers
- Taking them on excursions
- Reading to them daily (and encouraging them to read for pleasure)
- A regular bedtime
Easy ways to make the most of things you’re doing anyway:
- Implement a 'no screens at the dinner table' rule
- Turn your phone on silent - clients can wait an hour
- Practice timetables on car journeys
- Ask your kids what problems they want to solve in the world
- Listen to an audiobook together
- Cook, do the dishes, fold the laundry together
- Blast the family soundtrack
- Ask them about their current gaming choice.
- Take one kid along for some one-on-one time when you run an errand
- Bring the kids into the business and give them simple jobs in the office, or begin teaching them your trade
5. Make memories
For parents struggling with lack of time, Karthik Rajan shares this gem: Time doesn’t matter. Memories do.
“What are some of your best memories of things your parents did for you?” Many will likely be simple moments that didn’t cost any money.
Maybe it was your dad tucking you into bed at night and making up stories, playing chase around the house, or enjoying family pancakes on Sundays.
I teach my clients the 80/20 rule to create more profit. Similarly, identify and focus on 20% of simple moments that matter most to your kids.
6. Play at 100%
One study found children were better off when parents’ work was challenging and enjoyable, even if it limited time at home. However, this only held if, when mum or dad were home and off-duty, they were available, and not on their phones or distracted by work.
Gary Vee is known as a workaholic. Yet, he says, “I play in extremes. My daughter had a recital, I was the first parent in line for it. On weekends, I am all in, 100%. I’m not playing four hours of golf. I’m not doing things other people are doing. I’m all in on the kids.”
CEO Sharran Srivatsaa has a good tip.
7. Love your work, or quit
It’s probably not possible to build a family business without your partner having some role.
However, it’s important you’re both playing to your strengths and are on the same page. Not all couples can, or should, work together (especially if there’s an eroding baseline of respect). It’s helpful to step back and assess, “Is this working?”
As we wrap up, here’s a sobering statistic: 93% of the time we spend with our kids is over before they finish high school. Once they move out, we won’t see them nearly as much and will have much less influence on them.
Time is short. Life has to be on your terms. Yes, your business is probably going to require more attention in some stages of parenting than others, but to avoid regrets, and your kids missing out, the key is to set your boundaries and schedule in advance to make sure work doesn’t encroach on family time.
If you need help or just want someone to talk strategy with, hit me up for a free 45-minute coaching session here: www.nextleveltradie.co.nz/nextstep
Disclosure: The information presented in this article is general in nature and not intended to be legal advice for individual situations. You should speak to an expert about your specific circumstances and needs.
